Featured Clan [History]
July, 2009

Many clans fail each year. This was not one of them.
In fact, this page was so well written, it had to be featured on the Main page.

Crossed swords
Crossed swords

^ If you want to join because of that, forget it. :D

Please don't steal our original ideas.


Fail ship bzp

Whose clan chat?
BZP Chat's
The most ownage group of people that play RuneScape.
Current leader
Home Worlds
Special Uniforms
Bronze, Third Age armor or whatever seems to fit the situation.
Site Link
Must be a member of BZPower or solo the corporeal beast with full bronze and a raw herring.
For Whom?
Anybody that is a member of BZPower.
Serious business, bad clues, noobs with pr33 st00f, granite armour, Soul Wars, Shades of Mort'ton, Copyright, Noobs with Elite Black or Dagon'hai Robes who haven't done While Guthix Sleeps.
Internet memes and Sailing, God and the Cookie Jar.

Bzpchat banner

"It's people like BZPChat that make me regret making this game."
- Andrew Gower.


BZPChat is a clan of people from the site BZPower, who play RuneScape. We have a variety of members in our clan, from level 3, to 132, to level 9002.

The clan is mainly for chatting, but we play minigames often, and occasionally PvP and go revenant hunting.

We don't wage wars on other clans, because wars usually end in gay spammings. No offence, but we like the peace.


In the beginning...Edit

"Hey, I decided to create an account named Bzpchat, to host its namesake"
BZPower member Ziv, creator of our original clan channel.

BZPchat was a clan channel created by Bio Raptor (named Ziv on BZPower) for the members of BZPower who enjoyed RuneScape to chat in. In its starting days, the chat gained a few members, but was soon forgotten and emptied out. One member remembered this ancient relic. In 2008, the time came for the First Annual BZPower Halloween Party. The attendees needed a clan to speak in, and the member put the name forward. Since then, it has become the home of the BZP'ers and an excellent community. A newer clan chat, known as BZP_Chat, was created by Kardas58 as a place where the members are ranked, for activities such as clan wars and lootsharing.

The First Annual Halloween PartyEdit

"fr33 muny plz@@@@@@@@@@@@@"
about half the people that showed up at our f2p drop party.

Halloween party

Kardas58 displays his "Half a Pirate" costume prior to the party.

In October of 2008, it was decided that the need existed for the BZPers to meet up and engage in one of their favorite activities.... PARTY!!! Kayteen7 chose to organize the event (afterward he chose to no longer organize events). The party was to consist of a segment in FTP and PTP, each with a drop party. The first obstacle was time, as the BZPers are spread across the world and finding a time to suit all their needs was difficult. Kayteen picked a workable time, but misjudged the difference between Denmark time and EST, but disaster was evaded. Once everything was settled, members grabbed their costumes and prepared to meet up.

The party started at Kayteen's house and people came. Most were dressed up, and only two *loljagexcensorlol* cool guys came as "barrows brothers" (yeah right...) and cheated in the dungeon onslaught. Much partying was there and general happiness. After festivities the clan decided to go to F2P and host a drop party. In total the members had accumulated over 3 million coins worth and went to drop it in Free to play.

The following 10 minutes went from member's partying, to becoming a living hell of free players wanting to hoard rune daggers, runes and 700k gp.

After the party, the BZPers learned that three million coin drop parties in FTP were too terrible to be discussed, and that partying was a great deal of

The BZP clan members while revenant hunting (at a BZP hideout)

fun. Kayteen developed a fear of developing events.

But what the members didn't see, until it was too late, was that a new root of flaming evil missed the free party and was about to unleash months of splitting in the community...

The Ice/Matas - P2P warEdit

"Why is it that all you guys talk about is members stuff?! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE STRONGHOLD OF PLAYER SAFETY GOSH DARNIT!!!"
-Matas Shadeslayer/Icecold531 raising a philosophical question.

In the beginning of November a massive flame war was started by the member Icecold531. Icecold felt that most members had forgotten that they were once f2p'ers, supplemented by the fact that he and Kay had met several members that thought free-players were tools for their own gain or just scum. This caused people to flame him back, and the war went on for months. To this day, most of it it forgotten as a thing of the past. Icecold is no longer a threat to the community of BZPchat as his computer was destroyed by a group of sooper-secret assassins in a horrible accident by a massive virus.

The C O R S A M War Edit

-C O R S A M, after joining our clan channel and shouting at us about a war. He was somehow talking in all caps.

We win

The victory of BZPchat is officialized.

On July 1st BZPChat was feeling good. We had just gotten featured on the Runescape Clans Wiki and were slowly becoming respected. However lots of non-bzp noobs tried to join BZPChat, although they were denied they were all very respectful. One day, a member of the clan C O R S A M came into our clan channel requesting an alliance. We refused, and then after some events that I would appreciate somebody else filling in since I forget them, he declared war on us. After a secret meeting of the BZP council where nothing releveant was discussed it was decided that BZP would go to Clan Wars with C O R S A M. C O R S A M never showed up as Grunge Devil decided to call off the war. When asked for comments their leader, Grunge Devil, had the following to say (see pictures).

Afterwards C O R S A M became extremely paranoid that BZP Chat would start a new war with them. We have no such intention of doing so. Some misleading rumors concerning another clan were also spread, but soon stopped. After the war, several members of BZP were bitter towards Corsam and continued insulting them, and not even as a joke. This was soon cleared up, however.

The Second Matas Vs. Everyone Else War Edit

"Hey guys, my computer's fixed an-... WHY ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT MENAGERIE'S GOSH DARN YOU!!!!"

- Matas saying hi to the members of BZPChat after getting a new computer.

After C O R S A M asploded BZPChat was in it's 4th golden age. Then Matas's computer unasploded. For a while he seemed to have his memory erased by our s00pah secret ninjas "forgiven our past sins". However when the word noob was tossed around and Eey joke kicked him his head re-asploded and all of his memories of past "torment" came back like a flood of manufactured memories he declared war on us again. This conflict ended thanks to Reload's sensitive side, and Ice becoming a member.

The RelocationEdit

After a few more arguements with Ice and a staged fight between Law and Kay, BZPChat's headquarters (the Official RuneScape Topic on BZPower) was closed by an admin, forcing all of the members to relocate to a web forum created during one of BZPower's many downtimes, known as RunePingas. It is a thriving community where we discuss everything. Why we still call ourselves BZPChat, we may never know.

The Many Quits, Returns, Requits, and Rereturns of VaaEdit

Over the course of several months after the closing of ORT (see The Relocation), Vaa repeatedly claimed to be quitting the clan. He succeeded on RS, but he still sticks with us. Who knows when he'll ever leave. Nowadays all he does is complain about us talking about RS, put his two cents into conversations about updates he's never tried, and posts hundreds of RunePingas topics about his games and rants.

The Clan Today: Details and General InformationEdit

"You guys can't take anything seriously, can you?"
- Grunge Devil and Kayteen7 after the former being met by spam and sailing while paying a visit.

If you were to join BZPchat today, we have an average of 3 to 4 players in the channel. On busier days, we may have 10 or more people. Our home world is 67. For the most part, clan members train the Slayer skill and participate in conversations. Often, members will also be playing a minigame, such as the TzHaar Fight Caves or Soul Wars.

The most unique thing about this clan stems from the personalities of its member, being odd, funny, and even rather insane at times. Members travel the world in groups, claiming areas as designated "BZP Hideouts," spreading the good news of Sailing, and trying to create a happy atmosphere. The clan has since died out,


After being horribly inactive for months, member Kayteen7 decided to follow up the huge succes that was the 2008 Halloween party and so hosted the event 2011 Halloween party (we're so good at coming up with original names). The party started in Kayteen7's 99 construction

Party rock is in the hooooouse tonight

house where everyone was killing iron dragons in Kay's basement. The attenders also dressed up, and the award for the best costume went to Law who dressed up as Vegeta from Dragonball Z. The party went smoothly and was accompanied with the best dubstep. When the people decided they had had enough of partying they decided to do what they do worst: going to the Wilderness to kill people AKA pk'ing AKA pvp pk pro pvp kid imo tbh pvp pro sad dds pro

Kayteen7 dies a horrible death at the hands of the mighty The Lawuser.

. They suited up in their best gear (bronze) and headed out for the far-ends of the Wilderness. The Wilderness trip, however, didn't go as well as the party, since the only people they were able to kill were their own clan mates. This event will hopefully mark the return of the greatest clan in the history of RuneScape, so beware.

Some Favorite Clan Activities Include:

  • Harvesting Aquanite Pelvises.
  • Hanging out in our Capital city of Keldagrim
  • Wandering the vast world that is Gielinor, robbing banks, spamming about Sailing
  • Playing various minigames, such as Blast Furnace and Tai Bwo Wanai Cleanup
  • Making videos about Revenant Hunting and Sailing Sucks
  • Generally doing what the rest of the communtity sees as useless trash. Getting caught 100 times on Ape Atoll, making bananarum, anything that often does not include mindless grinding.
  • Crying (applies only to TOV)
  • Failing at getting up skilling levels
  • Calling in to secret clan meetings where nothing important ever is decided anyway.
  • Talking about Cooking Cape alot, just to mention nice trim on capes. Lawuser was the first to cook to 99. Kay came in second. Catfishbyron was the third.
  • Firing Spam Cannons (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@).

BZP's 99er NoobsEdit

  • Kayteen7: 99 defence, cooking, strength, constirution, attack, construction
  • The Lawuser: 99 attack, 99 cooking, 99 strength, 99 love, 99 defence, 99 Slayer, 99 Magic, 99 agility.
  • Tic Takk: 99 Defence, attack.
  • Kardas58: 99 sailing (don't ask, we're not sure how he got it either...)
  • Exo Malakii: 99 Strength, attack, defence, constirution.
  • Catfishbyron: 99 cooking, attack, constitution, ranged.
  • Kohila: 99 Cooking, fishing, firemaking.


See Clan:BZPchat/Qoutes.

Ranks Edit

General icon Everybody is ranked as a General to prevent arguing.

If someone breaks the rules outlined below they will be de-ranked as soon as somebody with the power to do so is available, and can be kicked to stop the nuisance.

Rules of BZPChatEdit

The following rules must be obeyed or else there is no entry.

  • Rule 1: No reporting other Bzp'ers. No matter how rude, reporting is banned from this chat.
  • Rule 2: Only one person can attempt 99 cook each time. This is to avoid confusion. (not an offence that warrants discipline.)
  • Rule 3: See Rule 1.
  • Rule 4: See Rule 3.
  • Rule 5: See Rule 4.
  • Rule 6: Do not overkill jokes. (you won't get kicked for this, but it kills the poor joke.)
  • Rule 7: Obey Rule 8
  • Rule 8: Disobey Rule 7
  • Rule 9: Time paradox's will be frowned upon. (not an offence that warrants discipline, lol.)
  • Rule 10: Noobs will be frowned upon; noobs being immature and rude people.
  • Rule 11: Intentionally dishonest people will get hunted down and eliminated banned.
  • Rule 12: An intentional overuse of immature comments or spam, or anything of that nature, will result in swift kick in the face.

Member ListEdit

Most active members (not including alternate accounts)Edit

Text in bold is nicknames

  • The Lawuser (He likes Manga. And cooking. Check his cook cape for proof. Strongest guy in the clan. Also no-lifer. :O) - Lawsy, Law, The Fighter Torso loser
  • Malakyr (The friendliest pain in the Loljagexsensorlol with an Ardougne Cape 3 you'll ever meet) - Exo, Chexo, (Several other random names)
  • Weird Person (Poorest Rich noob.) - Weird, Turtle, Weud
  • Catfish o_O  (Catfish skiller guy. Also likes pking and ranged.)- Fishstick, Ron, Cat
  • Caes (Youngest member of BZP, only logs in about once a month anymore since he went F2P)- Ceas, Cæs
  • Ice Gavel (Declared war on members twice, until he became a member (oh, the irony.)) Ice
  • Hooded Kay (Former Leader, Left BZP in august 2009, then rejoined...) - Kay, Def nub
  • Zephyr Fal (Though he disbanded from BZP long ago, he checks into the chat now and then) - Zeph, Zef, Fal
  • Asparagnu - Asparagus, Dalek

Other membersEdit

  • The Nailer (The quest nub who is forgotten amongst a load of Quest Capes) - Koh, Kohila
  • Hardvolume (The Invisible Man. Inactive) - Hard, Reidak
  • Yes yes yes

    A secret meeting without any progession on stopping global warming or Al Gore.

    Avlok (The guy everyone forgets who is, but still manages to catch our attention) - Av
  • Tetraconrad (Fishstick's comrade and brother) - Conrad, Tet, Tetra
  • Spartan 4600 (is currently more active in his original clan) - Spartan, Spar
  • Henry Helin (Creator of our headquarters, the Official RuneScape Topic. Status unknown.) - Henry
  • Oddment1 (No-one's really sure what he is doing, since he got unmuted) - Oddment
  • Pikag172 (Nonmember narb who is in cahoots with Exomalakai) - Pigag, the swine flu carrier, Tnu, Pig
  • TheTalakal/Zealot 340 (Some guy from a long time ago, we guess.) I joined in 05 and have been inactive. Since around March 2010. ~Talakal Talakal
  • Toawilliam11 (Newer than Ceas guy).
  • Captain Kard (Former leader, went F2P October 09.)
  • BarrarageNyx (The scammer of Bogon, notorious for never stopping to fail, even when he wins) - Teh PKer Nub, Vaa, Reload
  • Tic Takk (Bandos <3'er noob, defence nub, rich nub) - Taka, Takky
  • Markidactyl (Also known as Teh Worst Greatest Pker Rev Hunter) - Fearless Leader, Clovis, Eey, Mark
  • T O V S Y (Our special little failure) - TOV
  • Red Leaf10 (The Leaf that's red. He's obviously a violence lover. Logs on, but almost never in the chat) - Red, Wergali
  • Daihaj (Random dude from the Old BZP, awesome he be.) Haj, VV
  • Death By P1g (Utter and total noob that likes arguing with Vaa an even bigger nub. BANNED.)King


If you are a member of BZPower, feel free to join us! We have a lot of fun together. (just in case this article didn't clue you in).


BZPChat has a munber of hideouts, some of which are never visited. Mostly epic and/or deserted places where people never come. Some of them are as follows:

  • Keldagrim, highest level of the Consortium buildinng - Official hideout where meetings are held. Usually for nothing.
  • White Wolf Mountain, the little cliff to the east of the gnome glider.
  • Kayteen's house, usually his dungeon.
  • Markidactyl's house, which is better
  • Lumbridge watermill basement - worst shortcut ever.
  • Zamorak God Wars - Inside, just across the -prayer draining- river.
  • Fort made out of lawnchairs and towels in Lumbridge.
  • The coast to the southwest of Mobilizing Armies, right where the white wall begins.
  • Fairy ring locations, like The Enchanted Valley, the Fisher Realm, a random island off the coast of Witchaven.

Picture GalleriesEdit

Far too many pictures exist to place here, but to see the full galleries, visit the following:

  • Kardas58's gallery: [1]
  • Kayteen7's gallery: [2]
  • The Lawuser's gallery: [3]
  • Takadox2000's gallery: [4]
  • ExoMalakai's gallery: [5]
  • TOV's gallery: [6]
  • Kohilaice's gallery: [7]
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